Whatever cosmic alliance there seems to be working its magic in the universe, it has taken the time to align me with super talented friends.. Some of them are already amazing in their own right and are off doing cool things and others are amazing and taking baby steps to their goals because shit, it can be flipping scary! “Am I funny enough?””Will I do well?” “Is my idea so amazing that I can stop working for these bitch ass hoes?!”
These are questions that run through my mind on a continual basis, even if I can look back and say to myself “You do amazing when you’re in it fully!” Then what gives? One of my phenomenal friends is a quiet genius.. Not because she sends me asinine snapchat videos of herself acting an eediat (don’t get me wrong I throughly enjoy them) however one of the many reasons is because she sent me this book from half way across the world..
“YOU ARE A BADASS – How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life”
I tell you I read TF out of this book! Jen Sincero spoke to me to the point I was saying out loud to myself ” Yes girl yes, TF am I doing?!” I’d call up friend and say “Bitch, did you read page 92?!” A book that speaks to you in your language, with swear words perfectly placed to wake you up and make you realise you’re not just reading some half ass self help book.. You’re reading something that best awaken something inside you, because you need a cattle prod to your ass! Enough is enough! You’re too talented and mystical to not let it out! The other day I had to pass on the gift of Jen’s words to a friend, because we’ve got to remind the people around us that they too are BADASSES and are more than they give themselves credit for!
Can a year of not posting jack all, constitute for a heap of learnings?
Well in my case I’m chalking it up to that. This hiatus wasn’t deliberate, it was more like a year of learning not to submit to BS (and shit you not, I did at times) and realize that my ass is not 23 no more, and I’m going to question anything that has been thrown at me and call it for wtf it is.
If I were paid one dollar for every morning I woke up with the first word out of my mouth being an expletive, I’d have $365 dollars extra to my name.
Stress makes you ill and fuels sickness and aliments in the body. I’ve learned and felt a uterine fibroid grow substantially directly from this. The nurse pushing into my coochie region said “the largest one is 7 cm…”. Well thank you for the dimensions and irritating the bitch even more.. My past year has been stressful, rewarding etc, yet all for valuable lessons. And these times are all to teach us something. We’ve ALL had shitacular years in the past and the question is, what have we learned. Shall we sit and marinate in them OR stand up and act to reverse the damage?
Most humans marinate in that action and ask why they are so saturated with their BS. I’m embarking on taking my beat downs and turning them into something useful.
I’d like to thank my support system of friends and family. However, special thanks goes out to huffing copious amounts of lavender and geranium oil. If it wasn’t for those two, I swear I’d be having mad anxiety attacks and wanting to drop kick people via their throats.
Moving forward, I feel good, positive and IDGAF (within reason).
On the search of a treat-yo-self / spoil yourself / keep your booty from expanding by eating sugar ladened junk, this right here is the action you need!
NON DAIRY BANANA ICE-CREAM 🍨 !!
Super simple to make and a really inexpensive breakfast idea, dessert or just because you want to roll up on the couch and not devour a tub of Häagen-Dazs! Yeah I bet that sounds awesome until you have to U-Haul your ass through life.
All I did was take a bunch of frozen chopped bananas and threw them into my food processor!
Now depending on the size of your food processor, you may have to do this in batches. I chopped up all those bananas however didn’t use all of them.
MAKE IT FOR YOUR KIDDOS! Think, if they hear “Ice Cream for breakfast” they’d think you’ve gone mad!
Note: Once it starts to melt either drink it up like that or save if for a smoothie. I found you have to make new batches from frozen bananas to have that ice cream consistency.
Spirulina, one of the powerhouse superfoods that I love taking! Coming at me with antioxidants, iron, essential fatty acids, detoxing my blood, protein, vitamins, minerals and so much more!!!
If you taste it as is, yes it has likes of a fish bowl.. But hey enough people are eating proper garbage food out there so your pallet could do with something super nutritious and new! Besides, you’d mix it in a smoothie or blend it in after you’ve just juiced some vegetable action and bam! You’re on your way to boosting your immune system and body like nobodies business!
When there’s a chunk of carrot staring at you in the fridge and its basically saying “You’re just going to leave me like this, like a worthless piece of nothing?!” toss it’s ass in a blender! I did just that with a nice scoop of maca powder, coconut milk and oil, warm water a banana and pressed the ON button!
Maca has a strong root taste to it and most folks need the power pack it gives however are sensitive to the taste. I can handle a strong smoothie bowl (I sound as if I did hard time in a prison and can handle these streets! Please..) What I want to say is that adding lighter flavours plus the sweetness of the carrot and banana offset the maca root taste.
After putting it in a bowl, I then coconut oiled it, shook on a decent helping of chia seed, ground almonds, some cinnamon and swirled that action up!
Word to the wise: Maca Root powder stimulates the sexual organs.. So depending on how you are, use with caution. If you’re prone to being thirsty on a regular, choose your consumption time of this superfood wisely! Ain’t nobody got time for sexual harassment at work, a “When Harry Met Sally” reenactment, or having to stall meetings because you’re pitching a tent.
But wait, use it! It makes you happy boosting your moods, works on fertility, helps ladies with cramps, I already said it jacks up your libido, and gets energy levels up!
I stumbled upon this article in the Guardian “JK Rowling’s life advice: ten quotes on the lessons of failure“. At the end of the article there was a video in which she is addressing the graduating students of Harvard. This article and especially this quote rang very true when I’ve evaluated myself and others around me.. Yes acknowledge if one or both of your parents have done a number on your life and screwed you royally. It is very possible. However, don’t drag that shit into every flipping aspect of your life and make everybody feel like shit for you on a continual basis, because you have not taken your f**kery and sorted it out! The majority of you reading this are grown ass adults and if you haven’t taken your issues to therapy, or even acknowledged them, stop trying to drop it on everyone around you! Grow the hell up and stop being a petty human. Own your life experience and grow from it.
While at Sivananda ashram I asked my new friend, where in New Delhi could I go to consult with a doctor that also specializes in Ayurvedic medicine. Without hesitation he said you must see Dr. Sudha’s! So I went and it was amazing! After sitting with the doctor who was straight to the point and prescribed meds that really helped me, I went for a very special massage which was called Pizhichil. Basically picture yourself as Thanksgiving turkey just about ready to go in the oven. You’re then stretched out on this long wooden table where the magic unfolds.
You’re based/marinated with 2 litres of hot medicinal oil for and hour and some. And when you think you’re done, 3 women (two massagers and one marinade warmer) get you to flip over in your complete state of euphoria.
You seriously don’t know what dimension you’ve just fallen into. You’re drenched in this herbal infused oil (that you damn well know you can’t duplicate or buy at Bath and Body Works!), dazed, relaxed, happy, wondering how you manifested this place into your existence.. It’s all too much and you don’t want it to end.
I feel like that jerk who tells you the ending of a movie you really want to watch! After they propped me up, I felt like a half naked Goliath, defeated by 3 David’s. Unreal. After my trip into Lala Land, I hugged each one of them and said thank you, like that one drunk friend we all have that loves everyone too much at the end of the night.. “Omg I lovvveeee youuu come hugggggg meeee!!!” I wanted to release doves or some animal that represents peace into the sky because it was all just too much goodness swirled up into one… If ever in New Delhi please, for the love of Ganesh, find yourself at this wonderful place.